Screwed.edu
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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