So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
