How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize