you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
