you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
