When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
