PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
