i wish there were pregnant emoticons
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
