puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
