So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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