I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
