Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
