brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
