Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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