so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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