You work out of a Hotel?
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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