I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
