I just threw up on my dentist
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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