if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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