How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
