i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
