We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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