The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Randomize
