Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just threw up on my dentist
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
