Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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