Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
