It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
