dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
