Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize