Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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