we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
