For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
