the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
