Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
