I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
