he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She's the barista slut.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize