can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
