Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
