TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
