1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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