Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
