I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
