I think scott just propositioned me for sex
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
