So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
