He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
