i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
