Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
