Capitaan dildo arrescate!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
third nipple confirmed
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
