i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
