And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
