I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
