so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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