O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize