Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
