Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
