you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
