She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
