I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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