Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
