Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
