Don't you send me to vm
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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