Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
